#if thats a narcissistic thing to say or want
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volgotha · 10 months ago
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OoT was the first time I cried at the end of a game. More importantly, that game, in a way I still can't fully put into words to this day, helped me grow. Somehow. Idk it taught me to have faith in my abilities and to not back down even when I was afraid. (because that fucking monster music scared the bejeesus out of me so badly I'd run and shut the game off at times if I heard it all of a sudden--I was 12.) It was also while playing it that I, an autistic little girl, made my first friend, my childhood best friend. Though that friend later showed themselves to be a complete pos, it was still *real* to me. So real. That's why when I watched the end credits my heart was set on what I wanted to do with my life. I think I somehow understood that game helped me, and I wanted to make games to do the same for others in the future. Later though as I've grown and faced trauma after trauma, and with art school completely destroying my love for drawing and dealing me a profound wound to my abilities and by estension I guess self-esteem as well, even down here in this endless pit of dispair I am constantly trying to escape from, games help me. Because of that wound I constanly fear my artistic skills aren't to snuff, are nowhere near as good as they *should* be, wtv that means, games shine as the final beacon of hope; you don't have to be a fucking renaissance painter to make a beloved game that transcends time. My art doesn't *have* to be amazing for me to succeed, I don't have to fret so much. I can reach for the stars in whatever narcissistic fervor I want, the higher I set my sights, the more likely I'll be to land among them--and even if I never do, I'll die satisfied that I *tried*, which is the most horribly terrifying thing a human being can ever do.
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leon-on-the-froggy-chair · 11 months ago
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ranting abt personal life stuff because i have fRUSTRATIONS, to be deleted.
I love being treated like an annoyance because of my stances on companies and brands and my choices to not purchase or support my friends/family in purchasing from them and getting told off about how I'm a poseur and should put my energy into something more important and how I'm cringe. By mfs who cant live without buying chic fil a and starbucks and then TELLING ME like
bruh. dawg.
OOoOOo how dare i dont wanna eat mid chicken and prefer to make coffee at home
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dxxtruction · 3 months ago
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#I kind of wish they'd given Armand at least one or two clear positive traits but idk maybe they did he just can't actually be#owned to them because he's built up so much SHIT and doubt around himself and towards Louis and tries it also with Daniel it's like#Impossible to say anything positive isn't also negative by association of how it serves to uplift his negative motivations#But I mean just to throw some out there??#I think he's naturally curious and uh... I think he at least wants to try being better?#But its fails miserably because he's so narcissistic and withholds far too much of his intentions and actions#He views a lot of negative traits as positive ones and positive traits as negative when there in contention with himself#I feel he conflates a bunch of things on terms of whats good behavior and bad behavior because he'd been adapted to it that way#He wants to be better but doesn't actually commit to it.#Thats sort of the unfixed sense of self coming in#Armands opinions on things have clearly changed to be diametrically different to what they were 70 years ago#But he also severely avoids owning up to all negative things about himself.#I think one positive trait is that he can regret his actions? He can self reflect.#but I don't think he self reflects enough to see the truth behind his actions or what future actions could have in consequence#Guilts good because then it's not a total lack of empathy there. But he displays it in such a guilt trippy way it becomes negative.#A lot of things about Armand are just like that actually.#His most natural impulse is to simply destroy everything but he loses that impulse if he can love care or wield control over that#I feel he recognizes he cant let such impulses run rampant but then he's just sitting on a mountain of repression to make his self image#appear better than the very very dark shit that's him underneath#These two things can't... integrate properly.#Partly because he's always in the wrong envoirment for it because he can't obtain this through gaining it out of other people actually#I think its disingenuous to say he's in total awareness of his actions as bad and that he's doing all of this to be intentionally harmful.#Even if he is at fault and consequence for them#and like unless there's an outright lie I think a lot of the things he says are things he genuinely believes but they just come into#so much contention with others and their safety and values etc.#But he could just as easily be orchestrating all of this with full awareness and intention. So it's really an interpretational thing.#Most of this is like ... not talking about his positive traits lol. They're there he's just too much of an asshole to get to have them.#Like if I were to place a disorder on him it'd be histrionic narcissist.
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snekdood · 11 months ago
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me and my boyfriend were having a conversation earlier about how creepy my dad is and how he 1 used to spy on my mom w binoculars in his car across the street after their divorce (she got a restraining order luckily) but also 2 i remember him threatening to kill my mom and her current husband and i said something about how "i used to be scared i'd see him outside of my window watching me, even though he would probably just go after my mom i was worried he might try to kidnap me-"
and then it all clicked for me. the reason zero is the way he is is bc of my dad. the reason my comic is the way it is is bc of my fucking dad!
#like yeah he has elements of my brother and sister too but ultimately they suck bc of my dad. esp my sister.#anyways hes maybe one of the worst ppl in the world actually!#vent#learning more and more that if someone reminds me of my dad? i gotta fucking avoid the shit out of them. my sister does. my brother does.#and so does my abusive ex. i just remmebered getting that weird vague feeling when i was with them but brushed it off. I really fuckin#shouldn't've though goddamn. right down to the compulsive lying and extreme manipulation tactics. oh and the wanting to kill me shit#bc i dare make them ever view themselves in a critical light ig.#kinda like what happened with my mom and dad!!!!!!!!!!!!!! today has been rough emotionally :))))))))))))))))))))#wish i could say its empty threats but hes an actual republican and has a shit ton of guns so yeah. doesnt matter how empty it is#everyones still gonna assume the worse when you're compiling guns and talking about killing someone you claimed to fucking love#and for him? it really was all about losing power over her. if he couldnt have her no one did. which was ironic bc he never even#fully appreciated her when he was with her and made fatphobic jokes about her. but suddenly she wants to leave and its an issue?#ig when the person you claim to find so unappealing rejects you too it bruises harder if you're a narcissist who relies on building#yourself up by putting people you claim to care about down.#and then he used me and my siblings as pawns in his game. in his 'war' against my mom.#this is why my ex has been so predictable this whole time... ive literally lived through it. it was LITERALLY my childhood#everyone but me believed him when he started making justifications for the way he physically abused her. but thats the#thing about ppl who are abusive in this way- slowly everyone starts to realize they're lying. and the only ones who stick around#are the ride or dies with no standards for themselves.
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serialreporter-a · 2 years ago
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i have a lot of thoughts about gf ships and how he would behave in any sort of relationship and oh man. ohohoho man.
#�� ooc.#🔪 headcanons.#sidenote: i'm so entertained by how ppl portray him because they basically make him out to be like deadpool and i love that#LIKE I GET IT... there isn't a lot to go off of personality wise so its free headcanon-estate#personally i don't think he'd be as... over the top?? like he's much more subtle abt expressing any sort of feelings or#desires i should say#if that at all ever cropped up#the issue is i can't see him ever honestly pursuing someone as danny#maybe he could have a partner as like. a cover act. but it would be pretty one-sided#unfortunately :(#i don't think he'd be genuinely interested in someone unless they were trying to figure out who he is#which is. pretty narcissistic of him tbh JDFKD#only interested in ppl who are interested in the ghost face // head in hands#AND THATS THE THING TOO because !!! getting with someone who's trying to expose tgf's identity would be so reckless#and very risky#but he IS reckless and risky. in a careful sort of way#and i hate that he'd be way more invested in a dynamic like that than anything else ldfdsdfk why are you the way that you are#i was also gonna rant abt how weird he is abt showing any kind of affection because 1.) grew up in the 80s which is#a very unfortunate time to grow up being someone who is queer esp if you have conservative parents (looks at his dad)#and 2.) he doesn't want anyone associating tgf with anything other than horror and death. you're not MEANT to feel safe around it#so that would put him in this awkward position where if he ever at all developed a crush on someone#his brand of flirting would be. ddjfkds probably terrorizing that person but not actually killing them#but as danny he'd be a bit more normal about it. (and i say that very generously)#he still doesn't know how to function in a relationship#he would learn all about the things his crush likes though :')#what they like to do in their free time#their favorite places to visit#etc etc#which is SUPER creepy and i sure wouldnt blame anyone for being creeped out#unfortunately. he sucks 😔
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astrow0rldx · 1 month ago
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Dark Asteroids
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TW Very Dark Themes of Human Experience & Nature.
Look at the house its in to show where it would show up, and its aspects to see how it influences different energies in your life.
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
narcissus (37117) - narcissist. your side, or people in your life.
nessus (7066) - abuser, r@pist, predator. sexual abuse, obsession.
dejanaira (157) - ^ nessus victim. victim of these.
proserpina (26) - ruined innocence, abductions.
persephone (399) - ^ similar story. where time is not your own. held hostage, absence caused strife.
melete (56) - anxiety.
deprez (9795) - what makes us sad
pan (4450) - earthy carnal energy, lust, chase, desire.
maniac (228029) - inner maniac, where we do things other wouldn't, unexpected hobbies or passion.
lie (26955) - where you lie or manipulate, or get lied to about.
ate (111) - rushing to conclusions, delusional. respond to perceived, or real threats.
lucifer (1930) - where you are powerful. pride, egotistic. where you gain followers by manipulations. how you transform. why you look for revenge.
phaeton (3200) - dangerous behavior, people that got carried away, car crashes, accidents.
icarus (1566) - accidents, excessive risk.
nemesis (128) - enemies. vengeful self.
sado (118230) - sadistic dark sexual expression. borderline pain. thats that make us sad hard time expressing.
myrrha (381) - sexual relationships that go against natural law.
medusa (149) - your the prettiest, natural beauty can be corrupted by others. assault. punishment for something that isn't your fault.
karma (3811) - karmic connections, circumstances. fated.
tantalus (2102) - never getting what you want. always out of reach, temptation without satisfaction.
furia (194982) - our anger. what proves it. what attitudes bother us.
cassandra (114) - a gift & a curse. where your rejection ruined your life. where no one believes what you say
anubis (1912) - egyptian god of the dead.
grieve (4451) - grieve, grief, mourning, sorrow.
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
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for Nessus and pan to be in my 7th house i do attract those type of people. lustful, predatory men. but like in my actual relationships to.
furia is in my 4th house and i get really angry in the home, my mars is also there. narcissus is in my 4th house and and i have a narcissistic mother. my ancestors i work with seem to be very strong and aggressive to.
phaeton, dangerous behavior, accidents, and car crashes are prevalent in my dreams stuff like that and it's in my 12th house. also mania is there and spirituality, drugs, sleep/dreams, psychology could be where i have an unexpected hobby and passion others wouldn't.
icarus is another dangerous behavior, excessive risk. in my 5th house of parties, sex, creativity, entertainment etc. while deprez is there to that causes depression. as i read or write out celebrity chart analysis, everything puts together as lore, jhene aiko, jeffery dahmer, donald trump, etc. so as im writing mines out and its just mini asteroids, i love to see the depths, and art of my birth chart.
my lucifer is in the same house as my lilith the 3rd. also where my sun and venus is. and i do have really good mental manipulation skills, lying and using my words to scheme. but im only so aware because im not to much in my ego about it and never really liked to since a kid except when i needed to, but was always aware of that "power". nemesis is there and that is also my vengeful self. ate is also there in my 3rd house lol, rushing to conclusions, delusional. respond to perceived, or real threats. but these characters are very influnced in my school life also. im also a big trickster, love mind games, dark humor,etc.
tantalus in my 2nd house is frustrating. so as medusa in my 6th house of day to day activities & work environment. proserpina and persophone in my 10th and 2nd house is scary.
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animehideout · 11 months ago
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I think a lot about jjk men being angry because their gamer girlfriend ignores them 😩
(sorry for the writing, english is not my first language
JJK Men x Gamer GF
a/n: Hello anon thank you so much for your request. I had fun writing this one. I really hope you like it 🫶🏻
( Requests are open )
Characters: Gojo Satoru / Toji Fushiguro / Ryomen Sukuna / Nanami Kento.
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Gojo Satoru:
Satoru has been very busy with endless missions lately, getting home really late.
To ease your lonliness, you started gaming.
Well till it turned into addiction.
You were kinda mad at him for not making time for you or at least speak to the higher-ups to take some days off.
But you never talked that out with him, since you didn't have the chance to express yourself.
He surprisingly arrived early tonight, excited to spend the night cuddling with you while watching movies.
But he didn't expect you to have your eyes glued on the screen in front of you while gaming like a maniac.
The room echoed with the sounds of keystrokes and game music.
He jumped in excitement to surprise you but no reaction.
“huh? baby! Im hooome”
“hey” you smiled unenthusiastically at him and quickly turned your focus back on your game.
He raised his eyebrow, watching as you delve into your virtual world, a world seemingly more captivating than his presence.
Would try everything to bring your attention towards him.
He knows his touch makes you weak, so he leaned in wrapping his arms around your shoulders, kissing the top of your head, wishing to draw your attention away from your screen.
“I missed you so much babygirl”
His attempt failed miserably, you just hummed in return completely ignoring him.
When his affection didn't work he started teasing you attempting to provoke you and get a reaction out of you.
“You sure you can play this game? I feel like you suck at this”.
When his teasing fell on a deaf ear as well, his frustration reached its peak.
His calm and amused voice turned into an annoyed tone.
“ARE YOU REALLY GONNA IGNORE ME FOR THAT STUPID GAME Y/N?” he would yell in an unusual harsh tone.
The question hang in the air as it left you momentarily stunned.
“Why the hell are you yelling?” you would question.
“Oh so now I got your attention?! I've been trying to talk to you for half an hour now and all what you did is playing your stupid game”.
His anger was very evident.
He would remove his blindfold throwing it somewhere in your shared bedroom.
“So you got mad because I was focusing on playing my game but you didn't consider that I'm probably the one who's mad because you're never home” you let out of everything, confronting him.
“you're comparing this stupid game to my job?”
Oh boy he fucked up, he didn't get the whole point.
After raging and snapping at you he would give you the silent treatment.
Of course his narcissistic ass wouldn't apologize first.
He's convinced that it's your fault even though he was offensive as well.
You would eventually say sorry and he'll show you his bright smile at the spot.
Both of you would talk things out and find a solution to spend more time together.
“so we good now baby?...can we cuddle?”
“yeah Satoru just lemme finish this round” you would joke.
Toji Fushiguro:
As much as he enjoys your giggles and the way you throw cute tantrums while playing, he HATES IT when you're completely engrossed in your game, oblivious to the way he's sitting there watching you.
Kinda paradoxical.
He wished to have you in his arms.
Or having you on his lap while making out.
But all of these were just thoughts crossing his mind cuz you don't seem like you're finishing your game any time sooner.
And that annoyed him to the core.
“y/n, y/n ?”
“HOW LONG IS THIS GOING TO TAKE”.
You didn't even hear him with having your headset on.
He's very possessive of you and he wants all of your attention to himself.
Especially when you started chatting with your friends, while playing together.
That shit was his last straw.
“Thats it...get your ass over here y/n”
You would look at him in disbelief.
Mouthing “my friends heard you”
“oh trust me I don't give A SINGLE FUCK” he would yell again.
You apologized to your friends and quickly paused the game.
“Are you out of your mind Toji why did you say that”.
“Why did you apologize to your friends while I'm the one you should apologize to”
He would stand up approaching you, narrowing his eyes, clearly pissed.
His giant figure making you take a step back, trapping you between him and your desk.
“Now what should I do to you for ignoring me for too long huh?” he whispered.
You started stuttering, his strong aura did things to you.
His narrow eyes piercing through you, sending shivers down your spine.
“I- I'm s-sorry” you gulped.
“What a good girl...now turn off that computer before I smash it and get your ass on the bed”
Well you had no other options, so you obeyed him.
Unless you want to act bratty which will result in him punishing the hell out of you.
Would spend the whole night cuddling you, literally smashing you in his strong arms, never letting go of you. 🫶🏻🥹
“But Toji I really need to use the bathroom”.
“Nuh-uh”.
Ryomen Sukuna:
Two possibilities, whether you're too bold or you're suicidal and have a death wish to test this man's patience.
They just released this new game and you're completely obsessed with it.
You would spend hours playing it, luckily Sukuna was busy with some things so he didn't notice the way that game took your whole attention and energy.
He wants to be the one taking all of your time and energy.
But when he does notice, oh god, run or pray for your life.
“y/n come here let me kiss you”
“one second!!!”
He would look at you in disbelief.
Cocking his eyebrow, while leaning back .
Even though your back was facing him, you could feel the daggers he was sending your way.
“I said NOW”
“Please baby, I'm winning be there in a sec-”
You didn't even get to finish your sentence when he threw your whole set up off of your desk.
Your eyes would widen in shock.
You don't know if you should feel sad that your whole gaming set up got destroyed or scared that you're the one about to get destroyed.
“You dare to ignore me.. that's bold of you y/n” he would say in his deep voice, making your chest tighten.
“I'll only allow this once, there won't be a second time... do you understand?”
You would nod immediately.
He would throw you on his shoulder taking you to your shared bedroom.
“You need to be taught a lesson after all”
Of course he wouldn't apologize that he got angry at you.
I mean, it's Sukuna we're talking about.
The next day, Sukuna would surprise you with a new gaming computer with complete setup.
You've never imagined him doing this gesture but you truly appreciated that the king of curse actually considered your feelings.
“I don't understand what humans find so entertaining in this game... you should try murder is much more fun..”
You would happily unbox it and place it on your desk.
“Now, Doll next time when I tell you to stop you stop immediately without any stupid excuses”.
Nanami Kento:
Would be home after a long day at work.
Brings dinner with him and expects both of you to eat together while talking about your day and future plans for the weekend.
Only to find you in a dark room, only your computer screen glowing.
“y/n I'm home darling!”
“oh hey there baby” you would simply say eyes still glued on the game.
He wouldn't think much of it even though you were used to jump on him, embracing him in a long hug and telling him how much you missed him.
But lately all what you've been occupied with is this game.
Would give you space, while he takes his time to shower, prepare the table for both of you to have dinner.
“y/n dinner is ready, let's eat”
“yeah yeah I'll be there in a sec Kento” you said, agressively pressing the buttons on your controller.
He would sigh and head to the kitchen, to wait for you there.
Half an hour has passed, an hour and you didn't show up yet.
“shit” you said to yourself when you checked the time.
You ran downstairs to find him on the couch watching TV.
You slowly approached him and sat next to him.
“ken-”
“you don't have to say anything y/n”.
Your heart ached because you know you screwed up.
He would ignore you, his eyes fixated on the big screen in front of him.
You would place your hand on his lap but he would reject you.
“Kento please”
He would start lecturing you.
“You know, that was extremely childish y/n.. I've been waiting for us to have dinner together since the moment I left the morning.. that's what keeps me going.. knowing that I'll come back home to find you..but you did what? you ignored me”
He would be really furious but he kept it to a low and cold tone.
No matter how much he gets pissed he'll never raise his voice at you.
You would look down, embarrassed and feeling extremely guilty.
“I'm your husband y/n , lately you're not fulfilling your duties towards me like I do to you..”.
He is a responsible man, and he believes in efforts from both sides.
You would end up crying.
And he'll end up apologizing even though it was your mistake from the beginning.
He hates seeing you cry, especially because of him.
He regretted getting angry at you.
Between sobs you managed to explain to him that you were trying to win an award by getting the first place in this game.
Would bring you to his chest, holding you close.
“shh I'm sorry.. that's okay. I understand. I'm sorry if my words were harsh”
Would wipe your tears.
Doesn't go to work the next day and spends the day with you while you teach him how to play.
Thank you for reading (⁠♡⁠ω⁠♡⁠ ⁠)⁠ ⁠~⁠♪
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billsbabydoll · 2 months ago
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“𝓎ℴ𝓊𝓇 𝓊𝓃𝒻𝒾𝓍𝒶𝒷𝓁ℯ, 𝒸𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝒷𝓇ℯ𝒶𝓀 𝓉𝒽𝓇ℴ𝓊𝑔𝒽 𝓎ℴ𝓊𝓇 𝓌ℴ𝓇𝓁𝒹.”
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contains:HARSH ANGST+SMUT<3
summary:finally getting sick of bills toxicity and instability, i packed up all of my belongings and planned to “leave him” or as i stupidly told myself, only to find myself easily falling back into his same hypnotizing trap.
WARNINGS:abusive relationship, fighting, arguing, manipulation (I DO NOT CONDONE ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS in this story, this story is ONLY for entertainment purposes!!!), very narcissistic and misogynistic bill, hard-dom!bill, dumb-sub!reader, p in v (against the wall), degrading, pet-names, LIGHT choking, heavy breeding kink.
notes:as someone who has experienced theses types of situations firsthand, if you ever do find yourself in these kinds of circumstances please take the initial steps to get yourself out that relationship immediately, youll be fine i promise love ya!
HEAVY THEMES AHEAD!
“yeah go fucking cry about it you sensitive bitch, get the fuck outta’ my face!”bill loudly shouted at me from the living room as i ran and locked myself into our shared bedroom, tears streaming profusely down my cheeks, as i tumbled onto the bed and proceeded to curl myself up into a small pathetic ball.
im tired of living like this, being so isolated, feeling so trapped, being so mentally and physically drained, having to constantly walk around eggshells around him.
me and bills relationship was a perfect fairytale in the beginning, but quickly came burning down in flames and burnt down to pure ashes at his rage.his anger completely undoing every single precious thing he ever once said to me.
every “i love you.” or “i cant wait to start a life with you.” was once a simple loving string of words now being dangled high above my head as a reminder of his broken promises.
i still cling onto that small glimmer of hope that he could change some-day, that he could love me again, or that he could simply hold me without hurting me.
i lay in my own pity for a long grueling hour before i decide to slowly unravel myself from my position, gently getting up from the bed, wiping the tears from my eyes telling myself,
“i need to leave,
right now.”
i kick into full panic mode and immediately start changing into a dark colored tracksuit and a comfortable pair of sneakers, then i rummage through our closet grabbing random handfuls of my belongings stuffing my suitcase to the brim.
i quietly creak the bedroom door open and make my way through the dark hallway, my luggage in one hand as i try to rush towards the front door.
“going somewhere babe?”he eerily questioned, his evil presence immediately sending cold chills down my spine.
“i-i-uhm..”i mumbled trying to find some kind of explanation but it was if something was struck in my throat, i looked like a child who just got caught with my hand in the cookie jar.
“im leaving!”i managed to spit out, slowly turning to face him.
“oh your leaving?”he responded in a cartoonish voice mocking my own, chuckling manically at my response.
he crosses his arms over his chest as he cockily looks me up and down, he then quickly steps forward grabbing me by my chin with his right hand, yanking a fistful of my hair with his left.
“cant you see THIS is the life i promised you honey?you know no-ones ever gonna buy you all those pretty dresses you like wearing f’me, provide for you like i do, or keep a GODDAMN roof over your head like i do!”
what he was saying was true, without him i wouldnt have a single penny to my name.he took care of every expense, he even had me on a monthly allowance but he didnt do anything of it out of the goodness of his heart he rather used it to his advantage knowing hed always win.
“i know i know but, i-im tired of you being like this bill, im sick of it!i swear ill give it all back if thats what you really want!”i nervously murmured, his grip on my chin and hair tightening.
“your such an ungrateful brat, you dont even deserve to be breathing the same air as me, i shouldve just throw you out months ago like the trashy bitch you are.”
he yelled into my face before slamming me against the wall letting go of some of his grip on me as he pulled down his pants and boxers along with my sweatpants and panties.
“you wanna be treated like a worthless whore ill fucking treat you like one then.“
he wrapped one of his arms strongly around my neck keeping me in place, as he teased his cock in between my slicks folds, causing me to softly whimper.
“aww…look at you poor baby, you just wanted some attention huh, want me to fuck you isnt that right?”he purred squeezing my neck firmly in his arm, sliding his length harshly inside my walls.
though i hated to admit it, it truly turned me on how possessive and upset he got when i tried leaving it showed me he still sort-of cared.the fact he still had enough respect to still fuck me was enough to have me eating right out of his palm, anytime he showed me the slightest bit of affection it casted his spell over me all over again.
he continued thrusting his full length inside my cunt, beginning to aggressively pound away, my head banging against the cold wall.
“ugh-i shouldnt even be mmhtouching you right now ungrateful bitch!”he shouted, his free hand slapping my ass sure enough to leave hand prints the next morning.
“f-fuck fuck, im ughh-yours baby!”i moaned out, tears beginning to spill from my eyes, his tip kissing my cervix perfectly.
“das ist r-richtig, mhm!du gehst verdammt noch mal nirgendwo hin(thats right, your not going fucking anywhere),
gonna fill you all up, hopefully y-you get pregnant that way your ugh-stuck with me!”
the sound of our moans combined with the banging on the wall echoed throughout the house, the faint tv not even being enough to cover up his disgusting insults and my foul cries.
“b-bill ugh please i c-cant!”
“take my f-fucking cock mhmy little cum slut!”
his hips are bucking into mine at an animalistic pace as he urgently chases his release, my walls deliciously clenching around his girth, sending him immediately over the edge.
“scheibe scheibe scheibe(shit shit shit!)”he yelled out suddenly fucking his cock deeper inside my sweet walls, ropes of his seed oozing deep inside my pussy.
“ich w-werde ganz in dir abspritzen du mmh-dumme s-schlampe, ich werde dich mit meinem verdammten baby schwängern (im gonna cum all inside you, stupid slut, im gonna get you pregnant with my baby!)”he adds breeding his cum inside me with a few final thrusts, pulling his length out of me with a loud pop.
bill then releases me from his arm allowing me to slam down onto the floor, pulling his pants up smugly as he knelt down to my level.
“next time im beating the fuck outta’ this was me playing nice, understood? now go make me some dinner before you piss me off again.”
i nod my head instantly at his demands, rubbing the side of my cheek that hit the ground.
“such a good little girl, i love you.” he praised grinning widely down at me before getting back up and walking away from me.
“i love you too.”
and the cycle continues.
THE END
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Just wanted to make like a proper way bio thing for peri (irep coming soon probably if i bother)
I would write fanfiction but uh idk if i could so these are more like characters notes
real long post below
Peri is a highly independent adult, he doesn’t like being coddled or touched without any warning and isnt the type to ask for help at all even if he really needs it. He’s an extremely closed off person using the suave act as a way to personally seperate himself to others which he developed due to his celebrity status, the suave personality also acts as a way to keep face as he never knows where could be camera. He pretends this cool collected guy, that can worm his way to getting anything (which is true) that has everything under control but in reality he’s this kinda dorky dude, that always anxious on how people perceive him and his grades. He’s an overachiever, after the initial first baby born hype died down he’s mostly known as the really smart youngest fairy in existence, he’s was an academic weapon throughout spellementary school and hs (im basing his education system off mine which is only two schools no middle 4-12 and 12-18) and came to uni with overconfidence in his educational abilities. Theres one thing thats consistent between his suave act and his actual self which is he’s petty as hell and very snarky, you can try talking him down but he’ll roast you back or give you a vaguely threatening threat. As well as being a bit prideful and vain, like he knows he’s pretty and smart and cares a lot about his appearance.
In this uni au he’ll be a bit of a static character he doesnt grow much, and struggles with demonstrating his affection or his struggles. (Which is why dev and peri dont exactly work much cause peri is overcompensating on how much coddling he got, and show affection in a more subtle way that dev doesn’t need as he need a more direct way (and heres a thought i dont think peri wouldve ever said he cared for dev unless delirious) ) . But he’s more openly affectionate with his parents cause he loves them. What he mainly goes through is humbling, he starts fairly prideful and overconfident but starts to slowly crumble from the pressure and anxiety. As in he doesnt say no to anything, hes somehow always busy or doing something, he also studies not enough and too much (crams shit in) and he also got his celebrity things to do. Another arc will be opening up to Goldie and Irep (but they'll be his only friends) cause he doesnt learn shit about how to socialise without depending on the act. He’s also easily frustrated, if things dont go in the way he wants he gets frustrated at himself, like he really put his self worth on his abilities to do things and less on who he is as a person. Like everyone praised him for his intelligence, charm, talent, magic and appearance, like he hates being coddled but he likes being praised, while irep doesnt get praised and seeks getting praised. But that doesnt change the fact he is a genuinely nice-ish person he just doesn’t like disappointing people, especially those close to him but he’s got a bit of an ego but not in a narcissistic way but in a young adult way where he doesnt exactly think for others first but for himself because he doesnt want to disappoint people. (Which is seen in battle of dimmsonian where hes more worried about being seen by his parents and his career choices then dev). Which is also why he’s a stickler to the rules, like he doesnt want people to think he’s bad person but also jorgen literally drilled it into him that breaking the rules is bad. Like he’s the type to do it right by the books, that comes from him being a bit of a people pleaser, and genuine concern of him messing up his perfect facade.
Speaking of Goldie, i would describe their relationship as fairly close. It takes a while for the either of them to open up to anything personal but they start off as friends of mutual benefits. They use eachother as study buddies, people to hang out with and to talk about their slightly weird interests. And the more they go through uni the more they will confide with each other. Like i imagine a tipping off point for their friendship is when peri finally breaks and gets like a panic attack, Goldie will be there to boost him up. Irep is also their friend but he’s in it more to best Peri or to piss him off. Irep is one of few to see through his act and knows how to break it.
Like genuinely i do think hazel and peri may be counterparts to each other like they both lost their sibling figure, both overthinks scenarios and both want to be appear more mature then they actually are. Like i want anw to be where he grows the most because he’s more challenged to question his behaviours and habits, especially with how these traits affect his and dev’s relationship for the worse.
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cinefairy · 2 years ago
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it is so much more.
this isn’t a well prepared post, i just came to say that there is so much more to manifestation than getting said-so desire, thats not say you guys should not want materialistic things, go right ahead. you are god— you can have the riches. but also, look deeper than the riches when you have the chance.
you want to be loved? why? why do you wish to be loved and caressed and held against softy? because you want to experience love. you want to own it. you want to finally be able to have love in your arms everyday without the fear of judgment, without the fear of it slipping away from your fingers.
& thats a beautiful thing to cherish— you’re finally wanting something like this, you deserve it. so give it to yourself in imagination, because imagination is where everything comes from. imagination is the source of all things.
If you wish to be in a reality where you are praised, start praising yourself now, for consciousness is the only reality. This entire world is a wonderful play, being performed in an invisible realm all within us. - Edward Art
if you wish to be in a reality where you are beautiful, start feeling beautiful now. if you wish to be in a reality where you are rich & successful & smart start feeling rich, succesful and smart now. who is stopping you from feeling all the precious and amazing feelings when you are the one that has the power to feel that in your own mind that literally belongs to you & only you?
rather than force for the world to believe you & the things you want, believe in yourself. accept yourself, be yourself. you deserve the things you want in life, you don’t need permission, you don’t need to repent & ask for approval. you only need to allow yourself. its not narcissistic to love yourself and be confident in yourself, its not selfish. it’s necessary.
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dollcherray · 7 months ago
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Yan! Miss circle w/ a fem!teacher reader when?💪🏻🔥🔥 (I'm so sorry I'm getting interested in how you write😢)
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✮⋆˙HOTLINE BLING ୨୧
Yandere Miss Circle x Fem Teacher Reader
A/N:YESS, I AM BITING THE BARS OF MY CAGE, TYY ANON ‼️‼️‼️‼️ 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼 MY LIST IS NOW COMPLETE, also, sorry for the delay, i went to hang out with some friends and also, THANK YOU!!! IM SO HAPPY PPL LIKE MY WRITING
Tw: Yandere topics, killing mentions, descriptive gore, toxic relationship, breaking bones mentions, Remember: Yanderes can be extremely dangerous! do not approach nor interact with people who acts like this towards you.
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✮⋆˙ Okay, this was probably love at first sight, i just see Miss Circle as someone hard to get a crush but when she gets it, its probably love at first sight and she would be REALLY obsessed with her crush, she would probably the 2nd worst yandere to have in the school. (along with ms grace, Alice is the 1st)
✮⋆˙ Miss Circle shows lots of signals and obvious hints that she loves you and that she really wants you, but she thinks she is being very discreet about it, so if you ever find an eyeball in your teacher desk written with blood: "be mine ♡" it was definitely not her.
✮⋆˙ Miss Circle would have no problem in eliminating anyone who she sees a threat or who falls in love with you and she wouldnt even try to hide it, you would just see the multilated body who was missing half of their skin of the someone who gave you a good morning too kindly.
✮⋆˙ Miss Circle is controlling, aggressive, narcissistic, mean and clingy, she would often be mean to you too, but in a passive aggressive way because thats how she shows you love, by controlling you and bully you into doing what she demanded asked and when she is not showing her love to you in words, shes just clinging into you like a cat.
✮⋆˙ Like, if you were just chilling, she would come with a ":3" face with her eyes closed and would rest her head on your shoulder, if she could purr, she would, thats probably the only way she shows love without making your mental health 5x worse.
✮⋆˙ She would kidnap you but she feels like she could break you, so she decided against it to not take the risk of losing you and your charm to insanity.
✮⋆˙ Would have no problem in teaching you a lesson if you tried to leave her, a scratch or two on your arm or leg, enough to draw blood would probably do the trick, if not, she could break some bones to make sure the letter is passed.
✮⋆˙ Miss Circle would definitely stalk you, in school, on your way home, everywhere, if she gets the possibility to, she WILL do it, she does that to make sure you are safe and of course, to admire you.
✮⋆˙ But of course, she wont stop saying and thinking that you are very lucky to he with her, someone so feared and respected because of her hostility and merciless brutality and she will say it to your face.
✮⋆˙ If you try to leave her... i dont think things will end well for you, lets say that... she thinks you are just flawless and beautiful, she needs you at all costs, but if you dont want that... well... if she cant have you... No one can.
✮⋆˙ "I love you."
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traumatizeddfox · 9 months ago
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we seriously need to change the language when it comes to abuse. narc abuse does not exist. abusers can have mental disorders, triggers, or traumas but that does not mean people with the same disorder is abusive.
when i first realized i was abused i fell down the narcissistic abuse tiktok trail, i started to believe the only reason my ex was abusive was because he had NPD (he is diagnosed) but then after more of my own research, and conversations with people who are diagnosed with NPD, I realized that abusers are just abusers, and that a lot of people with this disorder are the ones being abused, ostracized from society and not taken serious.
The thing about abusers is they all share the same brain cell, which is why you can list off 10 things most abusers do and a lot of victims will relate. I get countless anons of victims telling me things their abusers did, and I can usually 8/10 times relate on some kind of level, because abusers, again literally only share one brain cell.
The issue with this is abuse has been almost synonymous with the word "narcissist". The amount of shit you see with "Narc abuse", when it's really just abuse. People making countless posts about "how to spot a narcissist, how to fix the narc", etc and I can guarantee you that not all of these abusers have NPD.
BUT we live in such a world of "what about me", so when people try to break the stigma of NPD, victims assume you're telling them they weren't abused. They mention x y z thing that their abuser did, they bring up their mother who maybe was one and maybe their abuser does have NPD, but then these same people want to scream about mental health awareness. They want to say that "Your disorder is not your story", or that everyone with a disorder deserves love, respect, therapy and help but once anyone with a disorder that isn't socially acceptable, it's as if these people turn a blind eye to anyone with a disorder that isn’t classified as worthy. No one is telling you to respect or love the piece of shit who abused you, hurt you, bullied you. Fuck that, but we HAVE to stop associating abuse with npd. if we want to make a change to mental health and the stigma, we need to do with all disorders.
People make these videos, blogs, books, posts, etc on narcissists like they arent...human. The stigma has turned anyone with cluster B personality disorders into something hideous, when really, most of these people are born this way, or deep rooted trauma. BUT when people hear this, they think its giving an excuse. No one is telling you that you have to love ur abuser who might be a narcissist, or that mental disorders = pass. No. Your abuser can have NPD, OCD, depression, etc and be a completely terrible person, and no one is giving them a pass. (Maybe some might but thats a completely different story.) but to just assume NPD = abuser and abuser = npd, is incredibly ableist, but people aren't ready for that one.
The way people talk about people with NPD like they are monsters, and ghouls waiting in the dark corners of the street, waiting to snatch their next victim (who they always describe as being an empath because these people think having empathy = being a good person, when most people aren't even empaths.) They like to romanticize their abuse as well. Talking about how narcissists spot victims who are so "kind, loving, wonderful, special." They try to make it this thing that it's not. Abusers do not abuse you because you are special. they abuse you because they are abusers. Your abuser is a piece of shit who deserves to die because they are an abuser. not because they have a disorder.
period.
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npdzane · 2 months ago
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I'm currently on ~300mg of caffeine and 32 minutes of sleep. Take some zane npd & bpd proof with yapping. And like..a pinch of glacier. Ty @diino8081 for posting the full comic so i can tweak out momentarily.
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Do you see how absolutely insane he is going without her??? He is literally risking death for a 5% chance of seeing pixal again. FIVE. PERCENT. ZANE WOULD ACTUALLY KILL HIMSELF FOR PIXAL. ARE YOU SERIOUS?? You can read how anxious and desperate he is for her. Like i seriously think if Pixal comes back we're going to have a scene of Zane being ungodly clingy.
I actually think we're going to get another Zane fake death where he hurts himself accidentally really badly trying to find Pixal. And it WILL make me go feral. If he's willing to hurt himself for Pixal, who's to say he won't risk other people's lives for her? He already risked Kreel and Lobbos life in this god damned comic that has me in a chokehold. If DR s3 ends up being Zane focused, we're absolutely going to get scenes of Zane being completely obsessed with Pixal.
Do i really have to say they don't have a healthy relationship at ALL???? Pixal said herself she wants to be useful so Zane doesn't hate her. Zane is..fucking batshit over her. They are NOT healthy for each other.
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Also, ITS NOT A HEADCANON ANYMORE!! ZANE IS CANONICALLY ATTACHED TO HER!!! IM SO FUCKING RIGHT!!!!! He doesn't care about her. He cares about the idea of Pixal. He doesn't care what happens to him or anyone else he literally only cares about her. He says it himself the only reason he lives is for her. And his judgement is clouded when he thinks of her? THATS. THATS LITERALLY. A FP. COLE I BEG YOU THROW HIM INTO THE PSYCH WARD BEFORE HE TRIES TO KILL HIMSELF AGAIN 😭😭😭😭
While Zane will always be a narcissist to me, there are also some borderline traits he has. It's possible for him to have both, yes, but I don't want my perception of him to be solely mental illnesses. Because I notice a lot of the ninjago fandom tends to see characters less of actual people and more of lists of diagnostic criteria. So I'm trying to find a balance. For now though, I definitely do see him with both. He fits traits of both (I will cover more in the future, but for now just for some examples: fear of rejection, Pixal is literally his FP, excessive need for admiration, poor self esteem). But he is his own person with more to him than just that of course. He has interests and hobbies and is more than a punching bag. Again, I'm trying to find a balance between him being a genuine actual person and him also having a lot of mental issues that do need to be considered when I talk about him. This is one of the main reasons I have yet to write anything with him, because I want to figure out how to not make it seem like i see him as nothing but his narcissism and bpd.
Anyway. Cole calling Zane dear im literally fujoshing out/j (YES I KNOW HES NOT ACTUALLY CALLING HIM DEAR AHUT UP LET ME HAVE THIS ONE THING)
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atrirose · 2 years ago
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𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐌𝐘 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 𝐃𝐘𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐂 !
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' you're my favorite boy ' said by my favorite girl
— synopsis : enhypen ship dynamic :)
ft. enhypen members , fluff , warning : cursing
ADVISORY TO READ IT WHEN NO ONE IS AROUND BECAUSE YOU WILL BLUSH AND SMILE LIKE CRAZY
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HEESEUNG : blunt and clueless ; he is the clueless one, like his s/o would be telling me that he looks like a tall emo kid and he would still say "you think I'm tall 😍" smiling after ignoring the whole point and turning it into a compliment, shouts out for heeseung for being clueless or else no one would date your blunt ass.
JAY : loves talking and loves listening ; loves to listen every thing that comes out of your mouth, you need to talk about your crazy aunt, np jay got you even though he is trying to do his homework ; need to talk about your bais, np even though he is your boyfriend he will somehow listen to it, you name it he is always ears , likes to cuddle during your daily 2 hr gossip session "yn im sleepy~" — "so I was like bitch sit down- wait you want to sleep" no he is wide awake tell him about your bitch classmate "nah babe go ahead"
JAKE : black cat and golden retriever ; aye we all saw that coming lol, literal embodiment of a golden retriever, he shows enough love for both of you, radiates litral sun rays, human charger, "i cant read Caucasian" no matter how much you love him its just too much " i SWEAR JAKE YOU STRESS ME OUT LIKE WDYM CAUCASIAN- ITS CURSIVE ENGLISH BITCH"
SUNGHOON : flirty narcissists and nonchalant ; randomly picked you to annoy next but guess his charms doesn't work on you "I'm the best partner you can ask for but hey don't fall for me" you secretly enjoyed his reaction after you turn him down "i would rather fall off a cliff" and cue the most dramatic gasp ever by yours truly sunghoon.
SUNOO : sun and moon ; sometimes you wonder which planet did you save to have a bf like him, sunoo entering the classroom starts with a smile that lights the whole classroom then he sits next to you "good morning, here have a short cake its your favorite" smiles, thats it he is too bright, its hard to even look at him.
JUNGWON : confident extrovert with lots of friends and introvert who loves the extrovert ; you can't even count the number of times you felt like someone might take your jungwon from you but his caring and loyal ass proves otherwise "oi oi, where are you going, you are my lab partner" he grabs you by your hoodie "I just thought you have got someone else" drags you with him.
NIKI : smart student and the class clown ; dumb thats what he is, anything he says is not serious and should not be taken as one, he is the most annoying and his voice its so...sweet, "hey! miss A+ please give me the answer please or else I will fail, I swear I will buy you ice creams for a month" actually you are the dumb one, why would you fall for that clown
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AN : after a century ! hi my lovessss
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Alright. So idk if I need to say this. But I want to so I will.
It is not acceptable to treat narcissists as less than people. Period.
As someone who has grown up with everyone around me throwing the term "narcissist" in my face. As if it was the worst kind of person I could ever be. It has shaped me into the person I am. And ironically the person I am, I acknowledge has narcissistic tendencies. But I'm no longer ashamed about that. Cause yknow what? Its not an insult.
People with npd. Or cluster b disorders in general, are not inherantly bad people. Thats an outdated and ableist viewpoint.
also, because im tryna disprove all the shit i can with the information i have. The thing is, is that having a narcissist in your life doesnt have to be miserable. Because with all people, not just narcissists, your relationship with them is up to you. If you treat someone like shit right off the bat they will get defensive and fight back against the mistreatment.
People with npd, from my understanding, while they may not have empathy, or may not know how to understand fully. i imagine that being upfront about your boundaries and being firm in what you need. They respond to that. Trying to make them feel bad when they physically cant will just drive a wedge between yall.
(If i have accidentally said anything that has come across as i did not intend-because this post is attempting to make my stance as a npd safe blog clear-please do tell me.)
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the-bonfires-ember · 3 months ago
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if you are gonna claim that when you describe your abusers as 'Narcissistic' abusers that you arent stigmatising NPD im gonna need you to reevaluate how you are using that word.
because from what ive seen theres big trend in abbreviating 'narcissistic mother' to 'Nmother' or something like that and i gotta say adding a capital N is fucking weird and definitely leads to an assumption that you are talking about someone with NPD because yknow, its only capitalised like that when its written down in the context of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
but regardless of that, if you cant hear someone tell you 'hey, you shouldnt use that word like that, it stigmatises a mental health disorder' and then reply with "yOuRe InVaLiDaTiNg My TrAuMa/YoUrE gAsLiGhTiNg mE So YoU aRe A NaRcIsSiSt ToO" or all of that - which, ftr I have seen someone do - maybe you arent as empathetic as you like to think you are, which makes you no different from me.
actually, i lie. it makes you WORSE then me because at least i am able to listen to people tell me that im hurting someone and correct the behaviour without taking it like a personal attack.
and to the people that are like 'oh it meant this BEFORE NPD even became a diagnosis so its not actually a problem'. WRONG. before NPD, it meant self centred and admiration of onseelf. thats what the narcissus myth was about. he fell in love with his reflection and died staring at it. then Byron was like, maybe lets throw egotistical nature into it too. so now that was a part of it. Freud did as Freud does and made it a sex thing but thats fairly irrelevant. the first proper case study was in 1925 and the book that propelled it into public consciousness was published in 1979 and he was basically just complaing that the world was different to the 50s. But it was only when bloggers and social media bitches started using it that manipulation became a part of the definition of the word. so fuck off with that shit.
besides, given how the words meaning has changed so much even in just the last century, how can you possibly argue that we cant change it now to be more considerate to Narcissists who just want to stop being stigmatised?
narcissistic abuse is not real. you mean emotional abuse or just abuse at all, you dont need a fancy word for it, because it the basic boring standard of abuse to begin with. its not special because it came from your parents or whatever. its just abuse and i went through it too.
the only reason you arent a narcissist and i am is because you got lucky and i didnt.
stop making it worse and just listen to us ffs
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